Are You Still Overwhelmed?

These days we are all busy, with things constantly coming at us from a variety of places, and feeling stressed is a normal response when you have too much going on.  However, when you start struggling to cope, are flooded by emotions, become short tempered and angry, and have trouble functioning, you are probably overwhelmed. We looked at this topic a couple of years ago, but because so many of our listeners have suggested we revisit this topic, we thought that today we would do a sequel to Episode 49.  In today’s episode of Your Personal Power Pod, we look at what it means to be overwhelmed, how it can affect your life, and how to deal with it.


We want to hear from you, whether it’s your stories about how self-esteem and personal power affect your life, or topics you’d like us to address in future episodes. 

We’d love for you to review our podcast. Do this on your streaming service or visit www.yourpersonalpowerpod.com , click Contact and drop us an email. 

You can also find us on Instagram and YouTube at Your Personal Power Pod.

Also, if you’d like to make changes in your personal or business life, spending time with a coach can make all the difference.  Sandy is offering a free consultation, so contact her at sandy@insidejobscoach.com and put COACHING in the subject line to schedule a free call.

Thank you for listening to Your Personal Power Pod.  We look forward to hearing from you.

And, until next time, find your power and change your life!

Transcript

[00:00:00] Shannon: Welcome to Your Personal Power Pod, a podcast about aligning yourself with the life you want. And here are your hosts, Sandy Abel and Shannon Young.

[00:00:20] Sandy: Shannon, it's so good to see you. How are you today? 

[00:00:24] Shannon: I'm great. How are 

[00:00:24] Sandy: you? I am great. We have been sharing our thoughts with our wonderful listeners for three years now, and it just continues to be an honor and pleasure and fun. 

[00:00:36] Shannon: It is. We love the feedback that we get from you and when you tell us about what you want to hear, and it's super fun to see which episodes people are listening to, because that helps kind of clue us in on what's needed.

[00:00:49] Shannon: I think today's topic, which is overwhelm, will apply to so many of us, 

[00:00:55] Sandy: including us. 

[00:00:57] Shannon: Yes, including us. 

[00:00:59] Sandy: So [00:01:00] today we are talking about being overwhelmed because these days it seems like everybody is. Yes. There are things constantly coming at us from a variety of places. We've got all the technology happening and the 24 seven.

[00:01:16] Sandy: Everything is hugely intense. It makes us feel stressed. 

[00:01:22] Shannon: For good reason. We're all so busy. Yes. Everybody will tell you, I'm just so busy. I'm just so busy. And that's definitely a choice. And there are different decisions we could be making. Put your phone down, pay attention to the now. 

[00:01:35] Sandy: Right. It 

[00:01:35] Shannon: does just kind of feel like life is moving really quickly and the bus is out of control.

[00:01:41] Sandy: Yeah. It can cause problems for you. You can struggle and have trouble functioning and cause all kinds of problems. Today we're going to talk about feeling overwhelmed. 

[00:01:51] Shannon: This is really important because I've noticed in my life and my husband's life, we get used to moving at a certain speed and to carrying a certain stress [00:02:00] burden.

[00:02:00] Shannon: Mm hmm. Mm 

[00:02:01] Sandy: hmm. 

[00:02:01] Shannon: When the wheels start to come off, it can be surprising because you thought you were functioning just fine. Then it's kind of like, what's happening? Why am I not sleeping? Why am I having these crazy thoughts? Why am I not enjoying life anymore? And it's just because you're overwhelmed, but we don't look at it that way.

[00:02:17] Sandy: No, we just think, oh, there's things I need to do and I need to get them done. Feeling overwhelmed is a normal response to everyday stressors. For a short time, it can actually be helpful because it fires up your system and gets your adrenaline going and helps you be more productive. But the problem is that you eventually become chronically stressed and constantly feeling overwhelmed and that can take a toll on your physical and mental and emotional health.

[00:02:42] Sandy: That's when it becomes a problem. 

[00:02:44] Shannon: So what are the signs that we are overwhelmed? If we don't already know to put that label on it. 

[00:02:50] Sandy: Right. We may just be feeling really stressed and not understand what's going on. One of the signs of being overwhelmed is that you are sort of thinking [00:03:00] irrationally. You make the problem seem bigger than it really is.

[00:03:04] Sandy: If it doesn't work out right, that it's going to be the end of the world instead of maybe just an inconvenience. Your thoughts are kind of irrational. 

[00:03:12] Shannon: And you kind of stop enjoying the things that you historically have enjoyed. It can be harder to find the fun in your life. 

[00:03:21] Sandy: Yes. You stop even looking for the fun because you're just so busy putting out fires.

[00:03:26] Sandy: At some point, you might find that you're doing a freeze response where you can't even function. Simple tasks feel real impossible and you're postponing things or avoiding them altogether just because you can't face the prospect of dealing with them. 

[00:03:41] Shannon: This is when somebody cancels plans with you and you feel this amazing sense of relief.

[00:03:46] Shannon: I don't have to leave the house. 

[00:03:53] Sandy: Another sign that you're overwhelmed is you might just overreact. You might be short tempered and little things just send you [00:04:00] into a panic. Or you just withdraw. Like you said, I don't want to go out. I want to just stay away. I want to just be by myself and leave me alone.

[00:04:07] Sandy: And withdrawal is definitely a sign of being overwhelmed. 

[00:04:12] Shannon: And negativity. Being pessimistic. 

[00:04:14] Sandy: You 

[00:04:14] Shannon: might be feeling helpless or hopeless, stuck in this negativity loop where you feel like things are just not going to get better. 

[00:04:21] Sandy: Yeah. And then you get angry and irritable and anxious and emotional. You cry easily, you yell at people.

[00:04:27] Sandy: It's, and that gets you. is really tough on relationships, it's not a good thing. We've talked about the fuzzy brain before. When you're really overwhelmed, your brain sort of shuts down. You feel confused and can't remember things or concentrate or make decisions. 

[00:04:42] Shannon: I've noticed in my world, my body will tell me.

[00:04:44] Shannon: You can tell when I've had a stressful week because I will get cold sores. It's awesome. 

[00:04:51] Sandy: It's like a red flag, isn't it? 

[00:04:53] Shannon: Yeah. That's when I'm like, Oh, okay. Like I've been internalizing too much of this stress and it's [00:05:00] literally coming out on my face. So now it's time to make some different decisions.

[00:05:04] Sandy: That's kind of handy. Uncomfortable 

[00:05:08] Shannon: and unattractive, but handy. 

[00:05:10] Sandy: Yeah, but it's, it's a wake up call that makes you stop and go, Oh, Dear, maybe there's something going on that I'm not even paying attention to because I'm too busy trying to do whatever it is I'm too busy doing that overwhelms me. Oh, but there's this thing on my face that's like, Oh, okay.

[00:05:25] Sandy: Good sign. Yeah. And then sleeping. When you're overwhelmed, you either can't sleep at all because your brain's running 1000 miles an hour, or you just sleep all the time. Because you're trying to escape it. The problem is if you're chronically stressed and overwhelmed, it can lead to mental and physical health conditions like high blood pressure or heart disease or obesity, depression, anxiety, and addiction, all kinds of stuff.

[00:05:52] Sandy: Overwhelm is not a good thing. 

[00:05:54] Shannon: And there are so many things in our lives that can make us feel that way. [00:06:00] 

[00:06:01] Sandy: That is true. Yeah. Like we've said, just having too much to do. I think what overwhelms me is too much news and too much screen time and too much other input from everywhere. That's exhausting. It causes me to be overwhelmed and causes my brain to shut down.

[00:06:20] Sandy: And then I realized my brain shut down and then I get anxious because I think, Oh, but there are things I have to do and I can't think. So, yeah, 

[00:06:27] Shannon: I had one of those weeks last week where it was moving as fast as you possibly can all day, every day. Ouch. Somebody asked me on my Friday, what are you going to do this weekend?

[00:06:36] Shannon: Like are you excited for your weekend tomorrow? And I said, I'm going to close the curtains and I'm going to sit in the dark with my dogs and stare. That's what I'm doing tomorrow. Perfect. I wanted no input. Perfect. Just to clean it all out. 

[00:06:49] Sandy: And that's so wise. 

[00:06:51] Shannon: Thank you. 

[00:06:51] Sandy: You realized what was going on and you had a plan to take care of it so that it didn't compound.

[00:06:57] Sandy: If you'd said. Well, I'm going out dancing on [00:07:00] Friday night, and then we're going to the bar and the play on Saturday. And, oh, geez, oh, you got to stop. And in order to stop, you have to realize what's going on. So, good job. 

[00:07:10] Shannon: Thank you. You know, an excessive workload, or a stressful work environment, or even just conflict, or potential conflict.

[00:07:20] Shannon: with family, friends, coworkers, the person at the convenience store, you know, all of those things, like you said, it's just input that your brain is having to process. 

[00:07:32] Sandy: And your 

[00:07:32] Shannon: processor can only handle so much. 

[00:07:34] Sandy: And a lot of those are very stressful events and you get enough of those and you just get overwhelmed and then you shut down or you have physical problems.

[00:07:43] Sandy: And financial problems that can really cause overwhelm because you are focused on that and anxious about it and stressed about it or health issues, my goodness, feeling overwhelmed and stressed is a really normal reaction. If you know that you have health issues or [00:08:00] somebody you love has health issues, it's going to be stressful and you know that.

[00:08:04] Sandy: So, it's important to pay attention to how you're reacting and be able to take care of yourself so that you don't go into overwhelm and just fall apart. 

[00:08:15] Shannon: This is where self care comes in, in a big way. Traumatic experiences or unexpected stressful events, major life changes. All of those things too. You have to be aware going into those or when they occur, because you can't always plan for them, that they're going to affect you in a way that will possibly make you distracted, make it really hard to focus on things.

[00:08:37] Sandy: Yeah. These days, all kinds of things. Make people feel overwhelmed because there's so much going on and we are into all of it. Well, I think a hundred years ago, there wasn't any technology. There wasn't television. You didn't know what was happening in the world. You didn't have connections on your phone to people.

[00:08:57] Sandy: You just lived your life in your [00:09:00] little area. Yes, there were stressors, but you didn't have thousands of things coming at you all the time. 

[00:09:07] Shannon: I heard or read something forever ago. This is super vague. It was something like we take in more information in a day now than they did in a year or more a hundred years ago.

[00:09:21] Shannon: And we're just not designed to take in the amount of information that we do. Our brains are struggling to catch up. 

[00:09:27] Sandy: My question is, do we need all that information? Do we have to watch news 24 7? Do we have to scroll and scroll and scroll and see what everybody's doing everywhere all the time? And we don't need to do that.

[00:09:40] Sandy: And if you really think you need to do that, then you might want to look at yourself and find out what you're getting from it. Or, what are you avoiding? Or, yes, exactly, what are you avoiding? Distracting yourself from Are you looking for identity from all that scrolling? There's all kinds of reasons people do that, but it can be overwhelming.

[00:09:58] Sandy: And it can distract [00:10:00] you from the important things, like your work and your family and your health care and that kind of thing. Self awareness is really important. 

[00:10:08] Shannon: And then not knowing how to cope. If you don't have good coping skills, overwhelm is a really dangerous place to be. 

[00:10:15] Sandy: Yeah. Again, it's about claiming your personal power and just saying, Okay, this is happening, I can see it, I can feel it, and I need to stop it.

[00:10:24] Sandy: And being in charge of yourself. And if you don't have the ability, the coping skills to do that, It's going to overwhelm you and it will cause you problems. 

[00:10:33] Shannon: You can definitely contribute to your own overwhelm. 

[00:10:35] Sandy: Yeah. Can you remember times when you've just been hugely overwhelmed? 

[00:10:39] Shannon: Yeah, last week.

[00:10:43] Shannon: Last week for sure. 

[00:10:45] Sandy: Well, you're in a job. that the summertime is insane. I don't even know how you do it, you and your colleagues, because you deal with more information and more people in a day than I do in a month. [00:11:00] 

[00:11:00] Shannon: Well, and it's not just the amount of work there is to do. It's when things go wrong. For me, it's not working hard or being busy.

[00:11:11] Shannon: I don't necessarily have a problem with that. It's when there are fires to put out. And. I don't know how to. So you're not only busy, you're having to find things out and you're in a position of not knowing, but needing to know. And that is where I just start, feel myself up against the wall all week. 

[00:11:31] Sandy: Oh, wow.

[00:11:32] Sandy: What 

[00:11:32] Shannon: about you? 

[00:11:33] Sandy: I don't get overwhelmed a lot, but I work for myself. I see my clients when I want to. We record our podcasts when we want to. I get to be in charge of that, so my life isn't running away with me. I've mentioned several times that I try to take an hour walk every morning. I haven't been able to lately because it's 110 degrees, but Usually, that centers my brain and if I'm feeling overwhelmed, [00:12:00] it gets me out of all that stuff.

[00:12:01] Sandy: I don't listen to podcasts or music or anything when I walk. I don't look at my phone at all. I just walk and pay attention to my body and the trees and the flowers and listen to the birds and it really centers me and helps me with overwhelm a lot. 

[00:12:17] Shannon: And that's our number one tip is to change your perspective.

[00:12:20] Shannon: Exactly. Take a step back. Take a breather. Put a buffer between yourself and everything else that's going on in your world. 

[00:12:26] Sandy: Right. And recognize and accept how you're feeling and then do what you can to shift it like you do. You know, the summertime's insane at your work and so you do what you can in your off time.

[00:12:39] Sandy: to take care of yourself and just sit with the dogs and stare in a nice dark room. 

[00:12:43] Shannon: Yeah, turning off technology. Many of us spend all day long staring at a computer screen and then our inclination is to come home and turn on the TV or look at our phone. That is a hard habit to break because somewhere in our head we feel like watching TV It's [00:13:00] relaxing, but really it's just more stimuli.

[00:13:02] Sandy: And it depends on what you're watching, too. 

[00:13:04] Shannon: Truth. 

[00:13:05] Sandy: If you watch something that's kind of mellow and fun and makes you laugh, go for it. But if you're a news junkie, you just listen to somebody talk over and over and over about the same thing that keeps happening, and it's a stressful thing. 

[00:13:17] Shannon: Not so 

[00:13:18] Sandy: fun. 

[00:13:18] Shannon: Not relaxing at all.

[00:13:20] Sandy: And the same with whatever technology you use to just scroll. Go for a walk instead of scroll, get out and change your environment or talk to a friend or just take some deep breaths. 

[00:13:29] Shannon: Just go outside. Yeah. Sit outside. If you don't want to go for a walk, just go sit outside. Leave your phone in the house.

[00:13:37] Sandy: Yes, right. 

[00:13:38] Shannon: And pay attention to the birds and the sky and the clouds and the air. Unless you're. In wildfire country, like we are. Reconnect with now. 

[00:13:49] Sandy: And reconnect with your body. With what's going on for you and what you're thinking. And try to change your perspective. If there's something in particular that's bothering you, try [00:14:00] to approach it from a different angle.

[00:14:01] Sandy: And identify your irrational thoughts and fears. We tend to catastrophize if something is possibly not working out. Oh, well, this'll be a bummer. I'll have to do something different. Or, well, maybe I can learn a cool lesson, and that's great. Or, this'll be horrendous, and my life will be over. Those are all different attitudes you can have, and one is going to overwhelm you, and the other ones will excite you about, oh, cool, I get to learn something new, and I get to gain new skills.

[00:14:30] Sandy: And it's all about perspective and how you choose to approach it. 

[00:14:35] Shannon: Seek support from family, friends, therapist. My husband and I have very stressful jobs, and we used to come home and bitch, basically. Right. It wasn't super healthy, and I think we both felt bad that we were Complaining, venting, whatever, but we've realized that it's really important for us to get that out in order to enjoy the rest of the evening.

[00:14:59] Shannon: So now we [00:15:00] both come home and we first thing ask, how was your day? Tell me about your day and allow each other 5 to 10 minutes to say what we need to say to get out whatever's going on inside. And then we move on from it. It's really helpful. 

[00:15:14] Sandy: Yes. If you have someone you trust and feel safe with to listen, then share the really hard stuff, share what you're feeling, share what's going on, but then move on from it.

[00:15:24] Sandy: Don't live in it. No, you've, you've gotten it out. They've heard it. They've validated whatever it is you needed validated. So it's time for you to, after that, find a new perspective, and that's when you go outside or you find a new topic to talk about, finding positive things. I've got a quote here. It says, staying positive doesn't mean you have to be happy all the time.

[00:15:45] Sandy: It means that even on hard days, you know that better ones are coming. And that was from some unknown person, but I thought it was great because you can find the positive. 

[00:15:54] Shannon: Yes. 

[00:15:54] Sandy: Even in unhappy times, there is always something good somewhere. [00:16:00] If you grab hold of yourself and give yourself a little shake and say, wait a minute, do I want to go down that rabbit hole of negativity or do I want to find the positive?

[00:16:08] Shannon: We've done entire podcasts on that. So if you want to learn more about finding the good, we can help with that. Yes, right. 

[00:16:15] Sandy: Yeah. Great. And then mindfulness exercises. There's an interesting one. It's called the 1 exercise. What you do is you sit in a quiet spot and start noticing things around you. List to yourself five things you can see, four things you can touch or feel, Three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

[00:16:39] Sandy: What this does is help you calm down and step away from the overwhelming thoughts and emotions you're experiencing. Take a break and then re approach whatever it is from a fresh perspective. 

[00:16:51] Shannon: This is really good for anxiety because it brings you back to this moment. 

[00:16:54] Sandy: Yes, right, and get centered. Those things where you can step outside of [00:17:00] whatever it is that is overwhelming you.

[00:17:02] Sandy: Realize there is more in the world and in your life than just this one or two things or whatever it is. 

[00:17:08] Shannon: I've also noticed too, sometimes making changes in your life to take care of yourself, not just in the moment, like, Oh, I'm really stressed. I'm going to take a bath, but in general can affect your overall mood and ability to handle what comes your way.

[00:17:24] Shannon: I am an emotional eater and if I eat a lot of junk food, I feel terrible. I mean, that's just the way it is. If I am not paying attention to what I put in my body on a regular basis, I'll go haywire with food. And that is a huge stressor. If I'm making a concerted effort to just pay attention to what I'm feeding me, it affects everything else in my world and makes me so much happier.

[00:17:49] Shannon: And it doesn't mean that I'm necessarily being restrictive, it just means that I'm paying attention. 

[00:17:53] Sandy: Well, and you're making conscious choices instead of just eating out of habit. I've known [00:18:00] people who smoke cigarettes. Whenever they get stressed, first thing they do is light up a cigarette. And I don't think they even realize they've done it.

[00:18:06] Sandy: It's just their habit. When things are tough, I need some nicotine. I don't think they're even aware of it. And if you can become aware of it, like with you and the food, it's the same thing. You just want some oral gratification to make you feel comforted or distracted. For the really short term, it might be good, like the nicotine, but over time, it makes you feel awful.

[00:18:28] Sandy: It's about self awareness and claiming your power so that you can make conscious choices instead of just reacting. 

[00:18:35] Shannon: Exactly. 

[00:18:36] Sandy: So that was a good example, Shan. 

[00:18:38] Shannon: Thank you. 

[00:18:38] Sandy: So the bottom line is that with all that's going on in the world in your life, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Feeling overwhelmed is a normal response to everyday life, but when you let it go on too long, it can cause emotional, physical, and mental problems.

[00:18:53] Sandy: The important thing is to recognize that you're overwhelmed, identify what's causing it, and then take steps to [00:19:00] address the situation. There are many ways you can do this, and once you claim your personal power and take charge, you'll be able to get your feelings of being overwhelmed under control, and once again be able to function calmly.

[00:19:12] Shannon: And this, as with so much of what we talk about, is a practice, and the more you do it, the easier it becomes. 

[00:19:19] Sandy: And the first thing is to be self aware, pay attention to what you're doing, notice if you eat that donut, or light up that cigarette, every time you're stressed. and maybe make different choices so that you will not be overwhelmed.

[00:19:33] Shannon: Thank you, Sandy. 

[00:19:34] Sandy: And thank you, Shannon. And many thanks to our listeners. 

[00:19:37] Shannon: Yes, and share your personal power journeys with us. It is so gratifying and it is just lovely when you share your emotional stories with us and telling us how your world is better or the things you've done to improve your situation.

[00:19:52] Shannon: We love it. So, you can talk to us by dropping us a line at our website, which is yourpersonalpowerpod. com. You can just [00:20:00] click contact and drop us an email. If you are interested in listening to us through a new channel, check us out on YouTube. You can also share that with your family and friends, if you feel like informing them with some topics to help increase the positivity and joy and power in your life.

[00:20:16] Shannon: And if you are interested in pursuing coaching, checking out how it can change your world for the better, get in contact with Sandy for your free coaching call at Sandy InsideJobsCoach. com. We look forward to hearing from you. We love it. Until next time, find your power and change your [00:21:00] life.