Are you one of those people who is so reliable and responsible that you spend all your time either at work or thinking about work? Do you allow your work to take precedence over everything else in your life, including your family, your health, and your relationships? If so, you might be feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious and unhappy. In today’s episode of Your Personal Power Pod, we talk about the importance of work/life balance and how to achieve it.
We want to hear from you, whether it’s your stories about how self-esteem and personal power affect your life, or topics you’d like us to address in future episodes. We’d love for you to review our podcast. Do this on your streaming service or visit www.yourpersonalpowerpod.com , click Contact and drop us an email. You can also find us on Instagram at Your Personal Power Pod.
Also, if you’d like to make changes in your personal or business life, spending time with a coach can make all the difference. Sandy is offering a free consultation, so contact her at sandy@insidejobscoach.com and put COACHING in the subject line to schedule a free call.
Thank you for listening to Your Personal Power Pod. We look forward to hearing from you.
And, until next time, find your power and change your life!
Are you one of those people who is so reliable and responsible that you spend all your time either at work or thinking about work? Do you allow your work to take precedence over everything else in your life, including your family, your health, and your relationships? If so, you might be feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious and unhappy. In today’s episode of Your Personal Power Pod, we talk about the importance of work/life balance and how to achieve it.
We want to hear from you, whether it’s your stories about how self-esteem and personal power affect your life, or topics you’d like us to address in future episodes. We’d love for you to review our podcast. Do this on your streaming service or visit www.yourpersonalpowerpod.com , click Contact and drop us an email. You can also find us on Instagram at Your Personal Power Pod.
Also, if you’d like to make changes in your personal or business life, spending time with a coach can make all the difference. Sandy is offering a free consultation, so contact her at sandy@insidejobscoach.com and put COACHING in the subject line to schedule a free call.
Thank you for listening to Your Personal Power Pod. We look forward to hearing from you.
And, until next time, find your power and change your life!
00:00.00
Shan
And here are your hosts Sandy Abel and Shannon young.
00:06.50
Sandra
Shannon can you believe this is our Seventieth episode I can't even imagine we just started saying you know there's a lot of things we'd like to share with people out there. Let's do a podcast.
00:10.40
Shan
Woohoo.
00:22.39
Sandra
And now we're on 70 and we have thousands of we have thousands of listeners and it's just overwhelming and so exciting so many thanks to everybody out there who likes what we're doing.
00:24.86
Shan
Ah, can you imagine.
00:36.43
Shan
Like and are taking this journey with us I remember when we first started talking about it and I knew broadcasting but didn't know how to podcast and you knew the topics but weren't sure how to broadcast.
00:50.10
Sandra
Nothing Yeah, but.
00:54.38
Shan
And so we just kind of said you know we're just going to have faith in the universe and we're going to put one foot in front of the other and find out what we can and now we're doing it. It's just so fun. Yeah, it's great. So thanks to everybody who's.
01:05.98
Sandra
Um, and we're on 70 It's so fun. It's very cool.
01:11.83
Shan
Participating in this journey with us.
01:15.27
Sandra
Absolutely and we're so thrilled that you're finding value in what we share so that's what it's all about so today we're talking about work life balance I was in a meeting with ah several.
01:17.48
Shan
Yes, it is so tell us what we're talking about today.
01:28.32
Shan
Ooh.
01:32.96
Sandra
High-powered kinds of people who ah, 2 or 3 of them were saying oh my gosh you know my work is running my life I have to travel and when I'm home I work till you know 6 and seven at night and I never see my kids and I never see my family and um it was. Just they were overwhelmed with work. So I thought maybe we would talk about that today.
01:57.67
Shan
Yeah I think that's one of the overriding issues of American society because we put a value on progress and success and money and. Don't seem to value downtime and family and rest like many other cultures around the world do and it's just not sustainable.
02:28.82
Sandra
Yes, it's not it if you do it too long. It will impact everything in your life. Um, but a lot of people struggle with it If you're one of those people who's reliable and responsible and ah spend all your time.
02:31.53
Shan
And.
02:44.87
Sandra
Either at work or thinking about work. Ah you allow it to take precedence over everything in your life including your family your health and your relationships. Ah you might find that you are overwhelmed and stressed and anxious and unhappy and that your relationships are suffering.
02:51.11
Shan
M.
03:00.58
Shan
Yeah, so what is it about work I know that we tend to like lump a whole lot of negative emotions and repercussions into the work category.
03:04.54
Sandra
Yeah.
03:16.40
Shan
But what specifically when we're talking about the reasons we might feel overwhelmed. What are some of those reasons.
03:23.27
Sandra
Um, well if you were raised with a strong work ethic. Ah, it can be a positive thing but it also needs to have a balance. Um, if you are reliable and responsible. That's also a positive thing and people can trust you.
03:24.50
Shan
M.
03:41.42
Sandra
But there's that but you have to also be able to step back. Ah, if you have too much pressure and too many demands at work and you don't have the ability to put boundaries around it or you have too many deadlines at once.
03:56.24
Shan
Ah, oh.
04:01.23
Sandra
You're going to be overwhelmed.
04:04.80
Shan
That's a hard 1 sometimes being able to say to your boss that doesn't work for me right now or is there a way that we can make it. So maybe I can have a weekend off every month
04:17.43
Sandra
Yeah, exactly exactly and you and you have to be able to do that and a lot of people ah just feel feel pressured to perform tasks even outside of their job description if somebody else says Oh Wow I have to go to the doctor tomorrow.
04:18.39
Shan
That's a challenge.
04:27.88
Shan
Yes.
04:35.46
Sandra
Would you do this meeting for me. Um, and you'd go Oh sure Whatever I'm be feeling that you're being a good colleague and supportive. But then that puts what you have to do on hold so you can go do that You say yes to too many requests.
04:46.54
Shan
Say yes.
04:53.13
Sandra
Or you feel pressured to perform things that are outside of your job description. You just look around and go oh well that needs to be done and Sam didn't get around to it So I'll just do that.
05:02.72
Shan
Yeah, and that can be okay if your coworkers do the same for you if you you know need to take your kid to the doctor or are just having a really down day and your coworkers are there to support you in that. Then that can work out really well. But I know a lot of people who just wind up doing more and more and more and other people say oh I don't have to do that now and then they wind up feeling like they're carrying the entire burden.
05:27.46
Sandra
Um, yes, exactly Yes, yeah, and a lot of times people do it? um because they.
05:41.27
Shan
Where they the different.
05:41.56
Sandra
Feel good about themselves when they do they feel that they're helping other people or that they're just dynamite at their job and they lose sight of the bigger picture. So I know you were telling me you know, somebody who? ah.
05:58.71
Shan
Yes, a friend of mine did not come from a very supportive encouraging household that appreciated her for who she is.
05:59.69
Sandra
Does that.
06:14.19
Shan
And so she gets her sense of self-worth from her job which means that if she's not getting that at home because she's not sure how to carry that into her home life now that she's an adult she spends more and more time at home or at work because that's where she feels good about herself and so she's running herself ragged.
06:30.82
Sandra
Yeah.
06:33.23
Shan
Because she can't figure out how to bring that feeling of value home with her.
06:43.62
Sandra
Yes, right? And even though she has children and a husband and a home house. Ah being there She doesn't get that same sense of accomplishment which is too bad because.
06:52.82
Shan
So exactly. So. And those are the ones that will sustain her. She's going to work every day feeling like I have to stay here longer and longer and longer because this is where I feel good about me but at the same time. It's depleting her so it's a really damaging cycle to be caught in.
06:59.16
Sandra
Those are the most important things really.
07:14.23
Sandra
Um, exactly yeah exactly and there are There are many signs and symptoms of being overwhelmed. Um you have irrational thoughts really where you think ah and. Catastrophes about if I'm not there. Um, the whole place will fall down or I will get fired or whatever. Ah, and sometimes when you are overwhelmed you feel sort of mentally paralyzed.
07:35.29
Shan
Take but.
07:50.80
Sandra
And unable to function your brain we've we've talked about Fuzzy brain and you get the fuzzy brain and even simple things feel impossible.
07:58.46
Shan
You become less flexible meaning that you can't adapt mentally when things are changing rapidly your brain doesn't keep up right.
08:12.65
Sandra
Right? Exactly? Yeah, so you're just find that you're overreacting to minor stressors. Um, you might panic if you can't find your keys or you may um.
08:22.80
Shan
But maybe.
08:27.13
Sandra
Find yourself yelling at people for no reason, no significant reason. Um, or you might even find yourself withdrawing from your co-workers or your friends and family. Because you don't have any patience anymore because you're just so stressed.
08:44.24
Shan
And they don't understand why you're putting yourself through this so it becomes a wedge between you.
08:52.54
Sandra
Exactly Yes, Yes, Ah, they do what they can to support you. But if you need to spend all of your time doing something else. It really does impact your relationships and that's one of the signs of being overwhelmed is when your relationships are shaky because you're not able to focus on them because you're angry or irritable or anxious or yell a lot or whatever.
09:11.43
Shan
Relationships and that's what.
09:24.46
Shan
And it can bleed over into the rest of your life I've had days where I'm so overwhelmed at work. In fact, it just happened recently I'm in a very busy period and in the job that I do and.
09:39.65
Sandra
Um.
09:41.75
Sandra
Right.
09:43.91
Shan
I Love it. But it is mentally taxing and there are a lot of moving pieces and a lot of tiny details and by the time I leave at the end of the day. My brain isn't working very well. It's very tired.
09:49.45
Sandra
Um.
09:56.91
Shan
And so I had another thing that I was supposed to be doing for an outside organization that was going to require more studying and taking a test and I just couldn't make it happen because the thought of coming home at the end of the day and logging back onto a computer was so overwhelming. So we just.
09:57.10
Sandra
Um, yes.
10:06.79
Sandra
Ah.
10:14.46
Sandra
Yes, exactly.
10:16.75
Shan
Couldn't complete the rest of my commitments because they didn't have the brain power.
10:22.82
Sandra
Right? Yeah, yeah, and that's so not you because you always honor your commitments. But if your brain won't work your brain won't work and you got to go with that and it's a sign that you know in your business.
10:32.59
Shan
You right? yep.
10:41.45
Sandra
There is a really high level stressful time and then there are lots of times when it's much more mellow and doable. So you'd probably just gear up for this difficult. Ah overwhelming time.
10:49.60
Shan
Yes, here.
11:00.79
Sandra
But if it were twenty four seven or if it were year round where you never got a break. You might be needing to learn how to say no or find another job if that's what the job entails.
11:11.93
Shan
Yes, yeah, and I'm very very lucky to have a boss who understands that so he designed the positions to only work three and a half to four days a week because he knows that if you work longer than that you start making really big mistakes. But I know.
11:27.54
Sandra
Right? Smart guy.
11:30.32
Shan
In a lot of other positions say you're in your residency at a hospital to become a doctor. Those people were crazy long hours and have to learn to work through that mental fatigue and that's a challenge.
11:43.27
Sandra
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly it it is and there are things you can do actually to manage that. But first you have to be able to identify that. That's what's going on for you. You might also.
12:02.34
Shan
To physical symptoms which is which.
12:02.51
Sandra
Be experiencing some physical symptoms. Um, which is a good sign that it's not Good. Things are not going Well ah you could have a rapid heartbeat difficulty breathing Dizziness Fatigue headaches upset stomach all kinds of aches and pains. As well as the emotional mood changes. Of course we talked about so each of us needs to pay attention to our symptoms of are we overwhelmed.
12:21.00
Shan
So.
12:34.76
Shan
Yeah, if you start having those Phantom illnesses it might be time to take a breather or a day off and do some serious thinking about the choices that you're making in your life.
12:37.10
Sandra
And then once you yeah right.
12:47.39
Sandra
Exactly exactly and what you need to strive for is work life balance which is a state of equilibrium where you prioritize the demands of your career and your personal life and your Self-care. It's like a 3 three-legged stool. Ah you have work relationships and self-care and all 3 of those have to be addressed or it's going to fall over just like a stool and the one I've seen.
13:18.34
Shan
Self care is one of those go ahead.
13:24.13
Sandra
The one I've seen most people not take care of is the self-care.
13:26.10
Shan
Take care like why is that why is that the one we're willing to let go.
13:35.27
Sandra
I don't think our culture in the United States really so it's really an interesting concept because taking care of yourself is vital. For you to be able to function. But if you're raised in a family where you're all about having to take care of other people make them happy. You learn that you get your value from doing that we've talked about that with self-esteem that.
14:07.42
Shan
So to speak if you don't.
14:11.10
Sandra
If You don't prioritize yourself along with everybody else and everything else like the 3 legged stool. They all have to have equal priority and if you can't do that or you don't do that or don't know it's okay to do that. Because you were taught when you were young that your job is to take care of everybody and everything else then the stool's going to fall over.
14:38.38
Shan
Yeah, it can happen really quickly. So how do we get to the point where we start acknowledging. Okay, the weak link here is me not taking care of me.
14:52.93
Sandra
That is a great question and there are many many things that you can do First of all you pay attention to the voice in your head the old messages that tell you you always have to be there for other people you have to be perfect at all times. You have to be on top of everything and that you only take care of yourself when everything else is done or it's just selfish of you to put yourself in the mix at all and that is so unhealthy.
15:15.95
Shan
Last with everything.
15:28.44
Sandra
My goodness. It's just scary unhealthy and so you have to challenge those messages and give yourself permission to make changes and prioritize yourself and your relationships as well as your work.
15:29.88
Shan
Okay.
15:46.82
Sandra
I Always tell my clients, especially the ones who are struggling with Work-life balance. This is just a job if you left they would find somebody else to do this job but your family or your. Self your health.. There's nobody else to do that. So try to put things in perspective.
16:17.92
Shan
That's hard. That's hard if you're if you're in a relationship that maybe isn't going very well if your kids don't need you anymore because they're grown up and you're finding your value at work hearing. They'll be fine without you can be devastating.
16:40.42
Sandra
It can be but you cannot get your identity from your work. Lots and lots of people do that. It's interesting when you go to a ah function and ah you introduce yourself to somebody and. Um, say hi who are you and they will tell you right off the bat. Um I'm an I'm a reporter or I'm a a doctor or yeah and by the way, what's your name you know I mean I want to get to know the person. And they will instantly tell you their job because that's what they identify with that's how they identify themselves and it.
17:14.21
Shan
Yeah, what they do? That's what they did. So yeah, try answering that question with the things that you do for yourself. I'm a gardener I do yoga. I You know define yourself by the things that actually make you you.
17:33.58
Sandra
Um, right? Yes, exactly and it's important for people to actually take time and identify those things. Who are you outside of your job and don't say I'm a mother and I'm a wife or I'm a husband or ah, you know those are more labels don't be Label. You're not a label I'm loving I'm caring I'm lots of fun I like to dance you know.
18:08.93
Shan
If her.
18:09.21
Sandra
All those things So I challenge our listeners define yourself without a role.
18:18.12
Shan
I like that I like the the next item on the list. How you've labeled it ruthless be ruthless. What are we being ruthless at.
18:23.27
Sandra
Um, without a label.
18:34.21
Sandra
I don't know where we are oh there we go I got I got it. Okay, you ruthlessly prioritize and focus on 1 thing at a time if you make a to do list. You're never going to get to the end of it.
18:36.96
Shan
Ruthlessly prioritized.
18:53.72
Sandra
Because things will always be added and just be okay with that learn how to say no many people struggle to say no because they always put other people's feelings before their own when you do that it can make.
19:06.42
Shan
If you.
19:11.96
Sandra
Lead to overwhelm. It is not selfish to prioritize your own well-being as long as you balanced it with that of other people. There are people who only take care of themselves. And that's not healthy either. You need a balance but you do need to make sure that you put yourself in the mix.
19:36.79
Shan
I Like this one because it can be scary to think about saying no to people whether they're asking you for help or favors or time that you are feeling like you just can't give and I know that feeling in your chest. When somebody says hey do you want to come do this thing or help this person out and your chest tightens up because you really don't want to do it but you also don't know how to say no to this person who you like and care about and want to have in your life but practice it because.
20:07.18
Sandra
Um, yeah.
20:11.80
Sandra
Right.
20:15.56
Shan
Once you say it that feeling of relief is addictive and it really is a skill and a muscle. So the more you practice saying no the easier it will get and the more you'll start to recognize that feeling in your body that says.
20:18.72
Sandra
Yes, right.
20:34.98
Shan
You really don't want to do this thing and it's really okay if you don't so just tell them you know what? I would really love to help but I just don't have the capacity right now the the phrase that I like to use is Bandwidth I Just don't have the bandwidth right now people can't argue with that and you say but please ask me next time and it's a.
20:48.10
Sandra
Yeah, perfect, perfect. Yes, exactly Yes, yes because you are taking care of yourself and it's actually you're taking care of your inner child.
20:54.73
Shan
Beautiful feeling.
21:04.16
Shan
And.
21:07.60
Sandra
That little person who wants everything to be okay for everybody all the time and you need to take care of him or her.
21:19.56
Shan
Did you go away? Oh I thought there was more to that sentence I'm sorry.
21:22.21
Sandra
Oh I'm right here? Oh I'm sorry I think the bottom line is you have to fill your own cup first because you can't fill someone else's if yours is empty and has you know if you'll just.
21:39.48
Shan
Yes, yep, and part of saying no is recognizing I don't have to do all of these things. Other people can help so learning how to delegate.
21:40.75
Sandra
Die of thirst. So.
21:48.30
Sandra
Um, and then of course.
21:57.70
Sandra
Yes.
21:57.95
Shan
And that also empowers other people and then also creates some community because you're all sharing the load.
22:05.41
Sandra
Exactly and it's important for all of us to know we cannot do everything all the time. That's why there are teams You can't play football by yourself. You know you need the team.
22:21.80
Shan
Ah, ah, ah, truth so.
22:23.68
Sandra
So and when they play together. It does build community.
22:30.37
Shan
And all of this is just about setting boundaries and if you want to learn more about boundaries. We do have an episode on boundaries which will help increase the quality of your life exponentially learning how to say no this is metime This is what will work best for me.
22:42.26
Sandra
Yes.
22:49.35
Shan
How can it also work best for you without losing yourself or giving away too much of yourself or putting yourself in a position ah to be overwhelmed damaged taken advantage of boundaries are huge all the way around not just in work.
23:04.47
Sandra
Absolutely yes, absolutely boundaries get clear with yourself about what you will and not will not accept and then make sure that the people around you. Understand that.
23:26.14
Shan
And this is a biggie when it sorry this is a biggie when it comes to work because there was a day not too long ago that when you left work. You were done until you went back to work the next day
23:28.82
Sandra
Um, and it's also good to just go ahead. This is a biggie.
23:43.62
Sandra
Um, guess right.
23:44.26
Shan
And now that is not the case and a lot of employers say you're connected to email. You have a computer you're kind of expected to be on the clock 24 hours a day in some capacity and that's not okay.
24:00.80
Sandra
It is not that's overwhelming. Yeah back in the 50 s and you know 60 s before that when you left work. Yeah, until the cell phones came along and all the screens.
24:08.59
Shan
Gosh even 80 s and 90 s.
24:18.16
Sandra
Where they can contact you anytime anywhere you could go out for a walk and not be expected to answer a phone or you could go for a weekend somewhere and they couldn't reach you. You don't tell anybody where you went and they couldn't reach you.
24:23.76
Shan
Be expected.
24:33.48
Shan
And take the trickquee.
24:37.84
Sandra
But the phones and the screens and the computers and all that have brought a whole lot of positive but they have also made it so that we get kind of overwhelmed because we never get away from it.
24:51.81
Shan
So.
24:55.64
Sandra
So it's important to give yourself permission to put the phone down turn it off walk away from it and then figure out who you are and what you want to do for you.
25:09.15
Shan
And take a break. Don't forget to take a break use your vacation time. My husband is one of the most dependable employees on the planet.
25:11.54
Sandra
Guest.
25:23.96
Sandra
Yes, here.
25:26.35
Shan
And he does not take his vacation time unless I badger him and he has so much vacation time banked and it is so frustrating to me and it's just it's indicative of our values I have different values around this I want to play.
25:29.98
sandaroo
Hey.
25:46.18
Shan
In my life and he wants to work and I'm like you're gonna lose it man they're they're gonna take it away from you. You're not going to get paid for it. Use your vacation time. There's a reason you have it? Yes, yes.
25:48.98
Sandra
Ah, yeah.
25:57.69
Sandra
Yes, they want him to take it because he will come back refreshed and and sharper than when he left. He's one of those reliable responsible people. So.
26:07.39
Shan
So take a break.
26:12.76
Shan
Ah, and I respect that I do but balance buddy balance. You know.
26:14.99
Sandra
He a great employee sick. Yeah hate and it's important to schedule time for yourself. No matter how busy you are self- carers take a walk.
26:23.92
Shan
Ga Then there's not bid to even.
26:33.54
Sandra
Go out with a friend and and have lunch ah anything that makes you happy read a book take a bath take a yoga class. Whatever works just time for you.
26:47.10
Shan
Ah, yeah, that doesn't mean time for you working if it's working on something at home like a project or building a tree house or knitting or whatever you know, do something that that supports your growth and happiness.
26:50.89
Sandra
Is so important. No no, no, no note. Oh.
27:04.51
Sandra
And is fun is fun and then some people find that if you journal it helps they just write down what's going on in their head and that helps to relax their mind and reduce stress levels for some people for other people that's pain too. So.
27:05.31
Shan
And ability to breathe and his fun.
27:15.87
Shan
The.
27:23.66
Sandra
You have to know yourself and.
27:25.35
Shan
Yep, and if you don't have time to take a vacation or write it down just breathe take 30 seconds and do some breathing exercises.
27:41.13
Sandra
Yeah, there's there's a breathing technique. Ah for anxiety which is called the 4 7 8 technique means you breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds hold it for 7 seconds
27:47.72
Shan
M.
27:56.38
Sandra
And breathe out through your mouth for 8 seconds if you repeat this 4 times you will find that you are more relaxed and that you feel less overwhelmed also meditation some people like to meditate other people think that's too woo-woo.
28:09.84
Shan
Ah, that.
28:15.56
Sandra
Ah, but if you are into meditation just means relaxing your mind focusing on something you know like the ticking clock or the sound of the bird singing or something other than letting your mind run crazy.
28:30.85
Shan
Yeah, and just put your phone down I think we think that staring at our phone and scrolling is relaxing and I know that it can be a whole lot of fun, but it's not doing you any good it.
28:33.96
Sandra
Can also be very helpful.
28:39.11
Sandra
Yes.
28:50.85
Shan
There's so much negativity out there and just put the phone down put the phone down go outside and get the mail appreciate the trees and the birds and then come back inside and just that little digital detox.
28:58.20
Sandra
Um, yeah.
29:07.39
Shan
Will benefit your whole day.
29:09.70
Sandra
Absolutely and it will if you do that like an hour before you go to bed I know that'd be really hard for a lot of people. But if you can do that it will help you get a good night's sleep find something positive to do before you go to bed.
29:18.97
Shan
Ah.
29:20.56
Shan
Yeah.
29:28.92
Sandra
That is not on your screen and once you're able to get some good sleep. You will find you're less overwhelmed.
29:40.28
Shan
And then here's one that you do you go for a walk every day.
29:45.37
Sandra
All the time every day. Yeah, yeah and I don't It's interesting I pass other walkers and ah they always have little earbuds in their ears and they're listening or they're talking on their phone to somebody and I think oh my goodness. That's not the purpose for me of my walk. My walk is to get my brain away from all the shoulds get my brain away from all the things I'm supposed to do or have to do and just let it notice my surroundings.
30:18.70
Shan
Next.
30:21.55
Sandra
Be really present and that's really powerful taking a walk while you're plugged in ah is good for your body but it really doesn't help your mental health.
30:33.66
Shan
Interesting, interesting. That's another one of those American things like I have to be exercising I have to be exercising and that means doing something to distract you from the fact that you're exercising.
30:36.43
Sandra
Um, yeah.
30:48.83
Sandra
Ah, maybe just find the joy in what your body's doing when you're exercising and pay attention to that and stop being such a perfectionist go easy on yourself.
30:51.85
Shan
Oh I like that it did today.
31:02.23
Sandra
No one is perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. You are the perfect you. So if you lower your standards nobody'll ever even notice just be you and give yourself a break.
31:16.18
Shan
I Don't even think of it like lowering your standards I just think rather than focusing on aiming for perfection. Just appreciate the flaws. It's what makes us all different and beautiful. That's the whole point is variety. Yeah.
31:28.77
Sandra
Yes. Yes, absolutely, You are very right? Yep and always remember that you are as important as everyone and everything else so live your life like that.
31:46.73
Shan
Yeah I like that.
31:49.93
Sandra
And you will not be overwhelmed and you will have a lot of good Work-life balance.
31:54.65
Shan
And truthfully I think we do need to say if you find that you're practicing all these steps and aiming for some kind of balance and you're not finding it. It might be time to look for another job.
32:10.74
Sandra
Absolutely absolutely. It is just a job and so many people. Yeah I realize you need a job to provide food clothing and shelter that is very important. But once those are covered. And there are lots of jobs that will do that if you have a partner that's working that gives you space to maybe reevaluate your job or if you are on your own. You can find something else to do. That will be less stressful.
32:49.60
Shan
And even the act of deciding okay staying in this position isn't good for me I'm going to just start putting some feelers out there. There's something very empowering about that that will help you approach your current position differently and you'll notice that you'll feel. A little bit of space in what you're doing a little bit of breathing room just by making the decision to maybe focus on something different. That's better for you. Even if it hasn't shown up yet.
33:25.47
Sandra
Sorry, Absolutely yeah, excuse me. Yes I'm fine so that is very true and very wise.
33:25.66
Shan
So are you? okay.
33:41.41
Shan
I've done it. Ah.
33:45.69
Sandra
You've done What what have you done? tell us what you've done.
33:47.61
Shan
Well just bit into position that was really bad for me I was working 9 1 1 dispatch at the beginning of the pandemic and it was really taking an effect on my health I lost £14 in the first three months and then this pandemic hit.
33:51.37
Sandra
Yes.
34:05.63
Sandra
Um, oh my goodness.
34:07.17
Shan
And I took a long hard look at it and went ok I'm already not healthy I'm just starting out and now there's this worldwide Health crisis does it behoove me to keep going to work.
34:17.94
Sandra
Um, yes.
34:21.81
Shan
And thankfully I have a husband who's gainfully employed and also very supportive and saw the effect that my current position was taking on my mental health as well as physical health and he said yeah I don't think you should be doing this.
34:37.65
Sandra
Excellent and you didn't and now you have a job you love isn't that fun but you took care of yourself and that's what you did. That's how you so.
34:39.20
Shan
So I didn't yeah yes, see yeah.
34:54.86
Sandra
Deal with overwhelm is you prioritize yourself in the mix and things will balance out.
34:58.82
Shan
Well and I've been I've been in a position of being so stressed that I made myself sick and now I don't have the luxury of doing that any more it will send me down a really bad spiral.
35:10.44
Sandra
Um, yeah.
35:15.76
Sandra
Yes.
35:16.54
Shan
And that was just a huge universal lesson in listening to my body and taking care of me and I hope that most of us don't have to go that far.
35:22.89
Sandra
Yes. Right? Yes, exactly And that's why we are doing this for our listeners is so you can step back and look at where you're coming from and see if it's working for you and. If. It's not if you are stressed or overwhelmed or getting sick or your relationships are falling apart create some work life balance or change your job.
35:53.47
Shan
How did you find it because I don't know. Did you have it modeled for you when you were a kid.
36:08.22
Shan
I mean your parents your parents worked hard. Well you you were raised in the 50 s so your father worked hard but your mom worked on it hard at home. But they also like to play they enjoyed life.
36:11.10
Sandra
Um, I'm thinking.
36:15.55
Sandra
Right? right? right? Think they did. My father had the job. My mother was staying at home didn't care my sister and me and the house and everything else and. My father went to work and made the money but he also liked to play and he had groups of friends that men friends that he would go fishing with for 3 or 4 days or he would ah go out on a boat or he would play Golf. He liked to play golf and he took care of himself. And then he also made sure that the family my sister and I and my mother were included in a lot of Play. We went on trips and we did things and so I was very fortunate that I did have that model that role model that you can work hard.
37:00.33
Shan
Keep the church that we did.
37:13.62
Sandra
Prioritize yourself and prioritize your family is that 3 hree-legged stool and it works well, it was great. So but about no because I don't.
37:22.12
Shan
Have you ever been overwhelmed at work. Wow What a thing to be able to say.
37:33.26
Sandra
Well yeah, I've worked for myself most of the time I've I've been a a counselor and a coach for thirty five forty years so um so I have been very fortunate in that area.
37:38.65
Shan
Ah.
37:47.75
Shan
You have a good boss. Yeah.
37:52.53
Sandra
Yes I do I have a very understanding boss and I'm glad that you figured it out so that you are taking care of yourself and that's what we want our listeners to do. Thank you.
38:00.00
Shan
Take care. Well I had a good role model. Awesome! Will wrap us up.
38:08.70
Sandra
Okay, so being reliable, responsible and trustworthy is usually a good thing but it can become a problem if you focus so much on taking care of others that you forget to take care of yourself. When this happens you might feel overwhelmed and unable to do your job or anything else. There are many things there. There are many ways you can identify if you're feeling overwhelmed including being short tempered experiencing a fuzzy brain and physical and emotional symptoms like anxiety. Digestive problems irrational thoughts and short-temperedness.. There are many things you can do to create Work-life balance begin by becoming aware of the thoughts that are driving you to exhaustion. Identify the old messages that might be driving you and challenge their validity prioritize What is important in all 3 areas of your life set boundaries around what you will and will not do and stick to them start saying? No I'm sorry that doesn't work for Me. I Don't have the bandwidth for that right now give yourself permission to prioritize yourself and your personal life as much as you do your work life and your relationships and claim your power and find the joy in living a balanced life.
39:36.36
Shan
You make it sound so easy.
39:42.86
Sandra
Um, it's all about taking charge of yourself. That's it. That's it.
39:43.76
Shan
Sure yeah, that's where your power is. Thank you Sandy! Thank you.
39:53.53
Sandra
Thank you Shannon thanks to our listeners for hanging in there with us for 70 episodes. This is so exciting. Yay.
39:59.17
Shan
And please get in touch with us. We love hearing from you. You tell us your stories about how self-esteem and personal power affect your life. You also suggest topics that we can address in future episodes and we love that as well. And if you feel like doing so we would also love if you wanted to review our podcast and you can do that anywhere you stream or you can just visit your personal powerpod.com click contact and drop us an email. We are excited to tell you that we are on Instagram where you can find us at your personal power pod so you can interact with us there. And if you want to learn how coaching can change your life reach out to Sandy for your free personal coaching call her email address is sandy@insidejobscoach.com and again. Thank you for listening. We love doing this with you guys and we look forward to hearing from you so until next time. Find your power and change your life.